How to deal with change: my top 3 tips

Change

CHānj/The act or instance of making or becoming different

I’ve always been in two minds about change, on the one hand I fear it fiercely and at the same time I’m always so desperate for change as I am for fresh air. Living in London means that change is inevitable and it’s meant that I’ve had to accept it as inevitable. Whether it’s for work, social life or my living situation I’ve learned to adapt quite quickly, but it’s not always been so easy.
silkfred pleated top

If you’ve been struggling to accept change or are just straight-up terrified by the concept of change and all the complications that change brings then I thought about a few of the things I’ve done over the past few years to accept change.

  1. Get Perspective: Whilst everything at the time seems like the worst thing ever. Do you remember not being allowed to go to that party when you were 16, or that disastrous haircut when you were 20? No? That’s because in the grand scheme of things it’s really not a big deal. When I find change, people, situations frustrating I take a step back and look at the situation and think – is this change really going to to impact my life.
  2. Accept Change: The concept of change is often framed as that it’s something being ‘done’ to us. It’s happening to us, not with us and that’s why we can feel so uncomfortable. By accepting change is the most powerful thing you can do – by actively becoming part of the changed. Just think about Change more like a software upgrade or an app upgrade – it’s a change which can lead to long-term improvement of a situation
  3. Communicate: On top of being honest with yourself and other what you do/ don’t like about a particular change in your life it’s important that you communicate it sufficiently. I’ve seen so many arguments, failed work and personal relationships and families fall apart when people aren’t able to communicate how they feel about change. The inability or unwillingness to address the impact of change with others goes against our social nature – a change shared might not be a change halved but it certain helps to reduce the stress through having support
silkfred pleated top
silkfred pleated top

What changes am I talking about? For me I’m at a time of change – my housemate of years is moving to another country, I’m going to be moving in with strangers on the other side of London, my job has changed, my best friend set her wedding date, my other half’s job has changed. I realised that these changes mean I’m growing up. It’s going to be a really tough few weeks – I’m mostly nervous about my change in living situation. I actually haven’t lived with strangers since I moved to University – I’ve been really lucky to live with some of my nearest and dearest friends. As my uni-days have become a distant memory in my rear view mirror my friends have moved to different countries, continents and even made the grown-up move to buy houses in the home counties. I decided not to let my move across London scare me, I’ve decided to embrace and it look at it as a way of making some amazing new friends. I’ll let you know how it goes!

silkfred pleated top
silkfred pleated top

4 Comments

  1. Marf
    March 9, 2017 / 10:23 pm

    Your granny once told me to ‘keep your eyes open and appreciate the change around you. Whether it’s the seasons, a growing child, or someone growing within.’ Every day I see you grow and wonder at the beautiful person I helped create. You helped and continue to help me to change. You are without doubt the best change in my life and it scared me ****less!! So keep those eyes open and embrace what life’s changes come your way.

    • Lisette @ Spoke + Co
      March 12, 2017 / 10:28 pm

      I love you mum x

    • Lisette @ Spoke + Co
      March 12, 2017 / 10:28 pm

      Thanks Lauren – fingers crossed! x