Don’t call me sassy… even if I am

I get called Sassy at work on a pretty regular basis by male colleagues, yet I’ve never once been called Sassy by a female co-worker. For the longest time I’ve honestly thought nothing of it – it normally came as a result of me being straight talking. What I was saying was no different from any of my male counterparts but it was classified differently.

When I’m called Sassy at work it’s not meant in a ‘oh you being all BEYONCE’ it’s meant more in a way of ‘I feel uncomfortable with what/ how you’re saying something’. For the longest time I felt like it was my problem, like it was something I was doing ‘wrong’ and then I realised in a meeting with a female VP that no one would ever describe her as Sassy to her face because it’s demeaning.

I know Sassy technically is defined as cheeky, bold, insolent – but in the work place this isn’t how it comes across. It reminds me of the campaign a few years ago about girls being called ‘bossy’ from childhood. Being called Sassy makes me feel like I’m being difficult, unreasonable and overtly girly when in actual fact I’m trying to be more vocal following a performance review I had in 2016. I was told I was ‘too quiet’ – read: ‘not vocal enough’ so from then on I’ve had to shout a little louder to be heard. I’m glad of it, I feel more confident now but I don’t want my opinions to be dismissed  as ‘Sassy’ because I only say something when I have something worthwhile to say. So please don’t call me sassy… even if I am because it makes me feel like my opinion isn’t valid.

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2 Comments

  1. Mel
    November 1, 2017 / 11:40 pm

    Totally interesting because I’d use sassy as a compliment to say I like and appreciate how sharp and witty someone is

    Mel ✨
    meleaglestone.co.uk
    @meleaglestone

    • Lisette @ Spoke + Co
      November 2, 2017 / 12:25 am

      I know right! I used to think exactly the same I never thought twice about it – someone used it in a really condescending way recently and it completely made me reassess the word in the workplace. Same for ‘honey’, ‘darlin’, ‘sweety’ – just not appropriate in meetings 🙂